First World Problems?

Recently I've been hitting the wall of emotions, fighting with myself mentally about my current state. Not that I am in any illness or what not, I just do not like myself as much now. (Going to use this platform to lay down all my problems and try to change it. My mind is so puzzled, up till one point I'm not sure why do I really dislike myself. - Thank god I still have that tad bit of positivity/urge to improve)

1. Diet
• After quitting my old job (for about a year), I start to lose the good habit of taking care of myself. I do not eat on time or you can say that I only eat one meal per day? I take Ice Long Black as my daily breakfast and lunch meal, only a proper dinner with carbs and protein. My body feels so trashy.
• In order to go with my plan to conceive next year this kind of habit needs to be eliminated. You won't have a healthy body to feed another life in your body, Emily. 
2. Waking up at PM daily isn't a way to live
• I know it sounds very lavish that I manage to live the life of waking up in the afternoon. Sound so carefree, right? But in reality, I start to hate it now. I used to love it so much (sleepyhead), but I recently I feel that I've been wasting so much of my time on that and missing out on what a 27 years old women should do - fighting for your future...And this leads to the next point.
3. Looking down on myself
• Because of point 2 above, it makes a hyper-lazy-person. I lose the momentum to work, I brush my dreams aside (procrastinating), I became a woman that is lifeless and suddenly someone without an aim. And I hate it, cause since young I've always wanted to be someone that others can look up, someone that is capable of buying any lifestyle that I want (and not relying on others... well, not that I am relying on others now, just that my income now is not capable of feeding myself the ideal lifestyle that I imagined).
• I don't even look up on myself, how would others look up on me (yes, I am egoistic AF). 
4. Stagnant
• I have two jobs now. Both aren't growing. Partly because of point 2 and 3, and partly it is because that I start to see more and more similar concept out there is doing the same thing as what I want to do. 
• Which, this leads me to have a mental conversation w myself - "Emily, you know how to confront and push someone not to be afraid to start something, but why are you being a hypocrite yourself?". "There are so many similar things out there, Zara, Mango, F21, Topshop etc they are all selling the same fast forward fashion clothing. But they can still survive themselves. Why can't yours compete with your competitors too?" Chicken.

Hmmm... maybe that's all. First world problems, huh? Now that I've listed down all the shit, I need to start planning where should I start. Perhaps even a goal list and a strict timeline for myself. If I do come out with a goal checker list with a timeline. I'll share it here (not that anyone would read my blog, but I want to use this place to track myself).

And oh... I am quitting cigarettes. Which also means, less alcohol. Oh well, this should be another post. 

kbai.

xx